This couldn’t wait. They’re lying to us!
What do you expect when you bite into a freshly-baked Bagel? An honest and manly exterior, throwing it’s coat over a chewy, eventually softly yielding centre?
Yeah, me too.
Do you expect something that transcends a regular bread roll? Of course you do. You bite into that Bagel hoping for some of that sweet, yeasty, malty goodness.
Damn it! That’s not what you get anymore! Not around here, anyway. Look at all of that stuff on top of there - I shouldn’t have to do that. I don’t like doing that. THAT, makes me despair, as to why the only couple of places in Lincoln that sell the bread with the hole, shamelessly try and pass of regular bread in the shape of a Bagel.
It starts so hopeful every Saturday. I do my weekly food shopping in the morning - Somehow, always exchanging money for Bagels, in the hope that whomever is making them has realised; “My God, I’ve made a terrible mistake!”.
Do they realise? No, they don’t. They dare to call these things Bagels, when all they’ve done, is poke a hole in their regular dough and make the top a bit shiny. It seems as though I’m not the only one who’s noticed the lack of (not even a decent Bagel, but) a real Bagel. I can’t go on, it’s all too much; Go on over to Chow if I’ve enstilled a feeling of passionate rage inside of you, and you still have some left to vent.
Edit: If anyone knows what This thing below is, please let me know if I can get rid of it. This isn’t on.
I’m not sure I can relate– I’ve not bitten into a manly exterior before. Just kidding– I mean, as you know, bagels are uncommon here. I found some in the frozen food section, I wonder if they’re even close. I’m not sure I can replicate it at home, given malt and malt syrup is even rarer!
Despite everything, that does look like a good sandwich (if made in anger). I have nothing against rolls anyway, as long as they don’t pretend to be something they’re not :p
Oh, don’t get me wrong - They’re still great as bread, they’re just not Bagels.
More importantly, what the FUCK is that related posts thing about, at the end my post?
Oi. Apparently bagels == babies == cookie cutters == anime. I don’t know. Check out how to disable it here:
http://internetducttape.com/2008/04/27/fixing-the-wordpresscom-possibly-related-feature/
Calm down Graeme! Hahaha
It boggles my mind. How can BAGELS be uncommon? I can walk into any store in the state and have 15 different varieties to chose from. As far as I (was) concerned, bagels are the commonest thing in the universe.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
bagels! probably because in the UK one thinks bagels are uncommon. the best thing is to make them yourself. there is a great recipe on my blog. but even if i had great bagels i would love some of that topping you have used here. i’ve been baking a cake all day, non-stop tasting and now i need something savory!
I was just going to suggest the same thing Meeta already did. The best solution is to make them yourself!
I’m sure they freeze well also.
Mark - I guess I sort of got the Bagels/Babies link, but then it lost me completely when it citied cookie cutters as having somethign to do with Anime.
Whatever, it’s gone now. Thanks.
Arie - Confused? Me and you both, my friend.
Meeta - Thanks. I have made them once before, with what I guess was a fluke degree of success.
Y - Likewise, thank you.
[...] This couldn’t wait. They’re lying to us!… [...]
Yes, I have discovered good bagels and impostor bagels. I usually find consistently good bagels at bakeries and bagel shops, and impostors at the grocery store. The impostors are terribly disappointing to bite into when what you want is the real thing. Still, you managed to dress this one up with some delicious looking friends. What is the spread underneath??
Thanks, Jen. I wish we had more good Bakeries around here, Lincoln really needs it.
The spread is a sweet tomato chutney.
I understand what you are saying! It happens to me with bagels, baguettes, croissants, gelato and a long list of things. It’s never about foie gras foam or sea urchin. We just want our simple, everyday staples to be good, right?! How hard is it to make a bagel? Not hard really if you know what you are doing, which you are supposed to if you work in a bakery. So sorry…
I thought about you when I read this blog today… http://www.thekneadforbread.com/ check those bagels out!
Thanks, Aran.
I saw those too - Now that’s a Bagel to be proud of, eh?
Wow!
Home made bagels are the best, Nigella Lawson has a glorious recipe in How to Be a Domestic Goddess
there’s hardly anywhere left to get a truly good bagel anymore. in my opinion, this is one of the great travesties of the modern world along with Pizza Hut delivery pasta and the never-ending primary season.
Kitchen Goddess - Yeah, I’ve seen those. They look great.
Michelle - Delivery Pasta?! Eeeeeewwwwwww!